Wednesday, August 17, 2011

It's not my time yet

You know, in a way I'm kind of thankful that I haven't gotten engaged till now.

 Every couple months I look at back and think "well it sure would have been crazy getting engaged with those finals." More importantly I feel like I've changed. Especially since I've started dating. For example, I think it's really valuable that I learned how to balance learning and grad school decently. I don't think I would be as committed to learning if I had gotten married earlier. Then I think but now-well now it's different. Now I'm ready. I've learned all my lessons. Why haven't I gotten engaged yet?

It's important to keep things in perspective. I know it's hard, at least for me. There is a real desire to wallow in depression or self-pity. Or look at how other people are so happy. Or count the engaged people in your class or the number of people you dated who are engaged now. But realize, What's good for them is not good for you. Maybe you haven't learned all your lessons. Maybe you haven't accomplished everything you need to accomplish. And...I know this is hard to accept...maybe you're just plain old not ready for marriage yet. Hashem knows best. You'll get engaged when it's best for you. Just don't give up hope.


  1. You know that there's a possibility that not every single will get engaged? For some people, there never is a best time to get engaged. For them, Hashem's plan is that they remain single forever. We have to accept that too...

  2. Someone recently made an interesting observation to me. They noted how it never ceases to amaze then, how some people meet their spouse in high school, others in college and some much later in life. There is little or no correlation with Davening, learning, therapy, character or pretty much any factor.

    It is all seemingly so... Random. As you said, only The Almighty knows...

  3. ! anonymous- I guess you're right. But I'm not sure. At the very least, I don't think anyone should think that way.

    @ish- very true

  4. to anonymous-everyone has their bashert/soulmate so u shouldnt say people will stay single forever chas veshalom.
    but on the other hand people die without getting married so it is complicated.