Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Shadchanim: Show your appreciation

A frequent source of frustration for the average shidduch dater are shadchanim. They'll call you incessantly, redt you ideas that are utterly irrelevant, and are just generally annoying. But I'd like to take a moment to thank everyone who ever redt me a shidduch, whether we went out or not, whether it was completely off base, or "on paper," spot-on. These people have lives, and despite what you think, they're not in it for the shidduch money. There are much more lucrative businesses out there.

The next time someone redts you a yeshivish girl who only wants someone in kollel when you're stuck on a career path or redts you a twice-divorced, balding, 300-pound guy who is seventeen years older than you, take a deep breath. Realize this person cares about you. It might not seem that way, but that's the truth. It might be insulting to you, you might think that they're not listening, and you might be right. But the fact is someone thought of you, wants you to be happy, and is taking time out of their day.

We all go through dry spells when it comes to people redting ideas. For me it's usually during vacation, and never during finals. Do you really want to discourage people from at least trying? All you need is one suggestion to be on target.

Thank you to everyone who has ever redt any kind of shidduch, even if it didn't work out. Better to speak up than to stay silent and wonder what could be.

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